As a person, we always have to wear different hats.
Especially as a mom.
In our daycare, 3 out of 7 of us are both educator and the mom of a child attending the daycare.
It can be really challenging, especially when you have a disagreement with your child educator or if your child lives a special situation.
We are in both those situations. Miss X filled a complaint because her son has been bitten twice by a child she named F.
She describe how she wants a plan of action, and many things that seems to be coming right up from her textbooks…
The problem his, she used information that she learned in the time she was working in this class to say how this child is living a difficult time and needs more help than the one we have been giving him for the past 3 years. Confidential information.
As I told her, it’s all about perception. And the way i see it, and 3 other educator who she showed the complaint sees it…. She more or less blame us for not diing enough.
I. Was. Pissed.
She uses confidential information for the benefit of her mommy’s hearth…but forget to use the same information to see that her collegues are working super hard to help this kid…in spite of their mental health (this is part of the reason i went into depression). She forget that as a team, we should hold on tight, not playing games.
So as a newly boss, or more accurately team leader, I wrote a nice letter to Miss X explaining her that we are taking her concerns seriously but will need to separate the mommy and the educator…especially because right now, she is just doing occasional replacement and we will need to be professional and respect the confidentiality of it.
Of course, she came to see me…
Men, I was nervous and tried to avoid it as long as I could…
But as soon as I started to talk with her, I was clearly wearing my boss hat.
I was feeling and showing confidence. I was able to tell her the messages she needed to hear, balancing the fine line between the “I know what you feel and understand your concerns and I am working with you” and the “I am the one in charge in here, don’t fuck with my girls and our work integrity and you’re better learn quick where is your place in this situation or you won’t have a place anymore neither as a mom or as a collegue…”
I was respectful, I stand by all my collegues, I didn’t buy her crap… This talk was a total success and by my exemple, by how I was acting, I was showing her that yes, it was possible to separate those 2 roles. And it would serve her better.
As for me, I can’t really deny it. Even if a part of me would prefer staying completely with the kids, even if I’m a bit overwhelm and I know we have pretty heavy shit coming on…
I love it!
I am good in those kind of touchy situations. I can read it, and I can translate both side of it while giving simple tips to help everyone.
Now, don’t get me wrong.
She might reject totally my suggestion. Maybe after talking with her boyfriend, she’ll be upset, which she didn’t look like it when she left.
But I don’t own this. This is her business.
Mine was to share a message with her.
And I felt empowered doing it, in charge of who I was and what I was saying. It was exhilirating and I suddently had a lot of energy and passion about it when I talked about it later.
It was me. This kind of leadership. This helping people seeing things.
And then, I thought about my coaching trainning starting the 5th and being nervous that I wont be good enough.
I get it now.
This is it.
This is one of the proof that I can help people.
That I can be more than good when I’m doing something dear to my heart.
That the “empower” feeling is right inside of me and I just need to believe in it for it to show up…
And dammed, it feels good!